Toxic Positivity
We know this time of year can be challenging, especially navigating family. Let's focus on something we've all encountered at some point: toxic positivity. Being positive is generally not a bad thing; in fact, we encourage it. But what happens when that positivity turns toxic? And how does positivity turn toxic? It is possible to have too much, albeit well-intentioned, misguided optimism.
You know that family member or friend who seems to have a perpetually sunny disposition, radiating positivity like a glitter bomb? Sure, it sounds great in theory, but let's get real! Let's explore why toxic positivity can be a bit like trying to put out a fire with gasoline.
Ever had a rough day and needed a venting session? Toxic positivity might rear its head with a dismissive comment like, "Cheer up! It could be worse!" Thanks, Captain Obvious, but that's not exactly what I needed to hear. It's like telling someone with a sprained ankle, "At least it's not a broken leg." Sure, it's true, but it doesn't make the pain magically disappear. The only thing statements like these do is invalidate your feelings.
Then there's the classic, "Look on the bright side!" While you might appreciate the sentiment, the truth is sometimes life hands you a bag of lemons, and you just want a moment to acknowledge the sourness. Pushing someone to always see the silver lining might inadvertently trivialize their struggles, not to mention contribute to repression and emotional imbalance.
And let's not forget the infamous, "You should be grateful!" Gratitude is great, but implying that someone's feelings are invalid because they're not counting their blessings at that very moment? That's like telling someone drowning in a stormy sea to be grateful for the fresh air.
We all encounter struggles in life. In fact, struggles are a necessary part of life, without which there would be no emotional or spiritual growth. There would be no contrast. Life would get boring very quickly.
In our journey to promote positivity, we often forget the importance of holding space for the messy, complicated emotions that make us human. Life isn't all rainbows and unicorns, and pretending that it is can leave people feeling isolated in their struggles.
The key is finding that delicate balance between encouraging a positive mindset and acknowledging the stormy weather. It's about honoring difficulties, understanding that it's okay not to be okay, and allowing ourselves and others the freedom to experience the full spectrum of emotions.
People who tend to act with an over-the-top positive affect run the risk of disingenuous and superficial connections with others and, in fact, with life itself. They are more likely to be bored and seek quick fixes, with no genuine or long-lasting fulfillment. A deeper connection comes only from authenticity. Nobody's life is perfect.
So, my friends, let's be mindful of our positivity. Let's offer support that doesn't dismiss, validate without judgment, and create a space where people feel heard, even when the world feels like a bit of a dumpster fire.
In the grand dance of life, sometimes we need a slow waltz through the challenges rather than a relentless, upbeat jig. After all, it's in those difficult moments that we discover our resilience and strength. So here's to embracing the messy, acknowledging the tough stuff, and navigating the maze of life with authenticity and compassion. Cheers to a balanced emotional diet and a genuine understanding of the human experience!


By Deborah Ashway, LCMHC, LCAS

#ToxicPositivity #PositivityCulture #AuthenticityMatters #EmotionalWellness #Mindfulness #PositivityAwareness #RealTalk #HealthyMindset #BalancedLiving #PositiveVibesOnly #MindfulLiving #EmbraceEmotions #AuthenticPositivity #WellnessWithoutDenial #BreakThePositivityMyth #PositivityCheck #MindfulPositivity #GenuineJoy #EmotionalIntelligence #HealthyMindsetRevolution #EmbraceYourFeelings 

The holiday season is often depicted as a time of joy, love, and togetherness. However, for many, spending time with difficult or challenging people can turn this festive period into a source of stress and anxiety. Whether it's a family member, a friend, or a colleague, dealing with challenging relationships during the holidays can take a toll on your mental health. In Let's explore strategies to cope with difficult people and prioritize your well-being during this special time of the year.


First and foremost, focus on yourself. That's right, put yourself first. Chances are if you're worried about dealing with difficult or toxic people, you spend a lot of time worrying about or caring about others instead of yourself. You might have been conditioned to believe that putting yourself first is 'selfish' when it's actually the opposite. Change the wording to see it from a different perspective, and change the program. Consider focusing on 'self-care' instead of 'prioritizing yourself', because it's known that self-care is important. During the holiday hustle and bustle, it's easy to neglect self-care with all the focus on giving and presents and festivities. However, taking care of your mental health is crucial, especially when dealing with challenging relationships. Find moments of solitude to recharge, engage in activities that bring you joy, and prioritize sleep and nutrition.
Practice Mindfulness. Mindfulness can be a powerful tool for managing stress and navigating challenging interactions. Stay present in the moment, focus on your breath, and let go of the urge to dwell on past grievances or worry about future conflicts. Let go of the urge to worry about others, what they think of you, all the things you need to do, things you said or they said. Do this long enough to return to the present moment and sustain a state of calm for at least 30 seconds. Practice this until you can sustain it for 10 minutes or longer. Mindfulness can help you respond to difficult situations with greater calm and clarity.


Make sure to set realistic expectations. One of the most important ways to navigate the holidays with difficult people is to understand and set realistic expectations. People may not change overnight, and the dynamics of your relationship is not likely to transform miraculously during this season. Accepting the reality of the situation and knowing the habits and behaviors of these difficult people can help you manage your own expectations. Doing this can greatly reduce the emotional impact of difficult interactions.


Establish and maintain healthy boundaries. This is a way to prioritize your mental well-being and focus on yourself. Communicate your limits to those around you, and don't be afraid to say no to activities or situations that you find stressful. Setting boundaries is an essential act of self-care, allowing you to protect your emotional energy and maintain a sense of control over your holiday experience.


Seek support! You don't have to face challenging relationships during these times alone. Reach out to friends, a support group, or a mental health professional who can provide guidance and understanding. Sharing your feelings and experiences with trusted others can be therapeutic and help you gain perspective on the situation.


Choose your battles. Not every disagreement needs to escalate into a full-blown confrontation. Pick your battles wisely and recognize when it's best to let go of minor issues. Prioritize your well-being by avoiding unnecessary conflicts and redirecting your energy toward positive and enjoyable aspects of the holiday season. If someone wants control, attention, or your energy, try not to engage.
Spending the holidays with difficult people can be challenging, but it's essential to prioritize your mental well-being. By setting realistic expectations, establishing boundaries, focusing on self-care, seeking support, practicing mindfulness, and choosing your battles, you can navigate the festive season with greater resilience and maintain a positive mindset. Remember that your well-being is a priority, and you have the power to shape your holiday experience in a way that aligns with your mental health goals.

By Deborah Ashway, LCMHC, LCAS

​#HolidayWellbeing #NavigatingChallenges #MentalHealthMatters #SelfCareDuringHolidays #BoundariesForWellness #MindfulHoliday #CopingStrategies #FamilyDynamics #EmotionalResilience #SupportNetwork #PositiveMindset #ChooseYourBattles #HolidayStress #WellnessJourney #MindfulnessInAction #RelationshipBoundaries #CopingWithDifficultPeople #FestiveSelfCare #PrioritizeYourPeace #HealthyMindHappyHolidays #JoyfulMind #HolidaySupport #ResilienceInRelationships #SettingExpectations #SelfLoveDuringHolidays #WellbeingGuide