Navigating the Holiday Season with Challenging Relationships

The holiday season is often depicted as a time of joy, love, and togetherness. However, for many, spending time with difficult or challenging people can turn this festive period into a source of stress and anxiety. Whether it's a family member, a friend, or a colleague, dealing with challenging relationships during the holidays can take a toll on your mental health. In Let's explore strategies to cope with difficult people and prioritize your well-being during this special time of the year.


First and foremost, focus on yourself. That's right, put yourself first. Chances are if you're worried about dealing with difficult or toxic people, you spend a lot of time worrying about or caring about others instead of yourself. You might have been conditioned to believe that putting yourself first is 'selfish' when it's actually the opposite. Change the wording to see it from a different perspective, and change the program. Consider focusing on 'self-care' instead of 'prioritizing yourself', because it's known that self-care is important. During the holiday hustle and bustle, it's easy to neglect self-care with all the focus on giving and presents and festivities. However, taking care of your mental health is crucial, especially when dealing with challenging relationships. Find moments of solitude to recharge, engage in activities that bring you joy, and prioritize sleep and nutrition.
Practice Mindfulness. Mindfulness can be a powerful tool for managing stress and navigating challenging interactions. Stay present in the moment, focus on your breath, and let go of the urge to dwell on past grievances or worry about future conflicts. Let go of the urge to worry about others, what they think of you, all the things you need to do, things you said or they said. Do this long enough to return to the present moment and sustain a state of calm for at least 30 seconds. Practice this until you can sustain it for 10 minutes or longer. Mindfulness can help you respond to difficult situations with greater calm and clarity.


Make sure to set realistic expectations. One of the most important ways to navigate the holidays with difficult people is to understand and set realistic expectations. People may not change overnight, and the dynamics of your relationship is not likely to transform miraculously during this season. Accepting the reality of the situation and knowing the habits and behaviors of these difficult people can help you manage your own expectations. Doing this can greatly reduce the emotional impact of difficult interactions.


Establish and maintain healthy boundaries. This is a way to prioritize your mental well-being and focus on yourself. Communicate your limits to those around you, and don't be afraid to say no to activities or situations that you find stressful. Setting boundaries is an essential act of self-care, allowing you to protect your emotional energy and maintain a sense of control over your holiday experience.


Seek support! You don't have to face challenging relationships during these times alone. Reach out to friends, a support group, or a mental health professional who can provide guidance and understanding. Sharing your feelings and experiences with trusted others can be therapeutic and help you gain perspective on the situation.


Choose your battles. Not every disagreement needs to escalate into a full-blown confrontation. Pick your battles wisely and recognize when it's best to let go of minor issues. Prioritize your well-being by avoiding unnecessary conflicts and redirecting your energy toward positive and enjoyable aspects of the holiday season. If someone wants control, attention, or your energy, try not to engage.
Spending the holidays with difficult people can be challenging, but it's essential to prioritize your mental well-being. By setting realistic expectations, establishing boundaries, focusing on self-care, seeking support, practicing mindfulness, and choosing your battles, you can navigate the festive season with greater resilience and maintain a positive mindset. Remember that your well-being is a priority, and you have the power to shape your holiday experience in a way that aligns with your mental health goals.

By Deborah Ashway, LCMHC, LCAS

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