Failure to Launch

Emerging adulthood seems to be a new stage of development.  Young people between the ages of 18 and the late 20’s are living at home in increasing numbers.  This phenomenon is interesting and disconcerting. “In short, young people are taking longer to start acting like adults.  Are they being lazy?”  Feldman (2014, p.451).Who knows whether this will be helpful or harmful in their development.  It is important that aspiring counselors become familiar with this new trend in order to effectively deal with clients who fall into this category.  
    It appears that young people who have left their homes, are living independently, and are flourishing.  Meanwhile, there are those still living at home who are floundering.  Independent young adults who are flourishing have positive attitudes, relationships, and religious beliefs.  Those who are floundering tend to be shy, anxious, depressed, and have lower self-worth.  They also tend to drink heavily, use other drugs, engage in risky sexual behaviors, and have lower quality relationships.  
Emerging adulthood is a state in between adolescence and adulthood.  It is a time when young people have to think about taking on adult responsibilities, and give up heavy drinking, risky sex, constantly playing video games, and porn.  Nelson and Padilla-Walker, (2013), conducted a study based on behavior of young adults living independently, semi-independently, and those still at home.  Their study subjects were “481 undergraduate students ages 18-26, 75 percent European-American, 3 percent Afro-American, 12 percent Asian, and 11 percent biracial.”  (p. 68).  All participants completed a battery of surveys that included subjects such as religious faith, prosocial behaviors, depression, anxiety, etc.  Based upon their answers the participants were organized into three groups–well adjusted, externalizers, and poorly adjusted.  The well-adjusted group results showed positive attitudes, high self-esteem, spirituality, and avoidance of risky behavior.  The externalizers-28 percent, drank heavily, used other drugs, were depressed, anxious, refused to grow up, played video games, and viewed pornography.  The poorly adjusted 8 percent, challenged adult authority, drank heavily, used other drugs, were depressed and anxious.  Of all of the participants 80 percent of the females were well adjusted, Males made up 83 percent of the externalizers, and 77 percent of the poorly adjusted.  The last two figures represent 70 percent of all participants.  The study shows a significant difference between genders.  This means that while men struggle through this period, females flourish, but run away from the risky behaviors young people like to do.  
    What motivates young people to stay at home?  Kins, Beyers, Soenens, and Vansteenkiste (2009), conducted a study to find out.  “The participants were 224 Belgian adults (mean age 22 years, ten months) and were 52 percent male and 48 percent female.”  (p. 1419).  Questionnaires were administered to all participants.  Questions addressed living conditions, subjective well-being, motivation, etc.  The participants included young adults who stayed at home and semi-autonomous young adults.  The semi-autonomous young adults were those who were college students.  The results indicated the young adults stayed at home for their own well-being and that the parents allowed it as long as there was harmony in the family.  Some of the parents were very controlling and used manipulative measures to keep the youth at home.  The study reported that the young adult would leave if she/he thought they were becoming a financial hardship for their parents. 
    If you or your family find yourselves caught up in the dilemma of failure to launch, please call Inner Source Therapy at 252-571-6508.  We will happily provide help and guidance for you in your time of need.

by Ronald Blanchard, LCMHC, LCAS

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